Part 28: The Elite Four
Well I'm immediately intimidated.
Alright fine.
: No one can best me when it comes to icy POKEMON! Freezing moves are powerful!
: Your POKEMON will be at my mercy when they are frozen solid! Hahaha! Are you ready?
VS Elite Four Lorelei
(Yes I'm cheating slightly using the remakes artwork, but Lance is the only one of the E4 to have Gen 1 artwork. And I won't even use that, cause it's shit)
(Lorelei is the name of the siren that lures sailors to their deaths in the Rhine River with her beauty and voice. Kanna is from the canna lily and from kan, cold)
(And since I won't be doing team comparisons, I'll go over the anime version here. PRIMA, not Lorelei (since Prima has two syllables for lip flaps, like Kanna) appeared in the ninety ninth episode of the anime, while Ash and co. traveled through the Orange Islands. There she gives lectures as she travels around and is idolized by Misty. Ash challenged her to a battle, but she barely noticed him. After some insistence, she did finally agree and absolutely slaughtered him. Then said he was a shit trainer that needs to connect with his Pokemon. And left. Neat.)
Well, here we are, facing the first member of the Elite Four. Sure our Pokemon aren't up to par with levels, but we should be fine.
Yeahhhhhhhhh!
Hmm, you know, maybe Pikachu isn't the best Pokemon to use in the endgame...
Well that's not too bad, we can still take this one down.
This is really not the time.
THIS is really NOT the time.
Okay, let's change tactics and try with someone a bit more consistant.
What even is accuracy, anyway?
It finally goes down at least, sheesh.
Okay, this is what I get for not giving Ikue enough Calcium.
Thankfully I get lucky with Spike Cannon (Toge Kyanon), which is ANOTHER Normal multi-hit move. Great. Wonderful. I'm glad we have so many of these in the game.
Now I'm gonna be real with you here. I'm not going to have much trouble in these fights, since Pokemon is a very easy baby series, always has been, always will be. So I won't always use super effective match ups, just so all of the team can have their time. However, there's not much point in sending out mr. skeltal obviously. But I won't breeze through these fights, I want to have some difficulty in this very easy baby series that I love so much!
Well that was easy. Ne-
Bulky ass motherfucker
Well that went well. Man I'm so good at this very easy baby game. In cases like these so the battle doesn't drag for too long, I'll just send in the clean up crew.
Neat, what's next?
Hmm, okay. Let's give Aquamemnon some time, since it's the only one of Lorelei's Pokemon that isn't Water...
Levels don't always mean the be all and end all, thankfully.
Alright, here's the big one. Let's see what we can do.
With some opponents, the power gap is very, very obvious. We're a little bit screwed, but it's not too bad.
But thankfully, this game likes me sometimes.
So that's one down at least!
"Go on ahead!"
: You only got a laste of POKEMON LEAGUE power!
Let's heal up and move onward.
: Through rigorous training, people and POKEMON can become stronger! I've weight trained with my POKEMON!
: SATOSHI! We will grind you down with our superior power! Hoo hah!
VS Elite Four Bruno
(Bruno actually means brown haired, while also being similar to brawn, bruiser and brunt. While Siba is from shiba, the Japanese name of Zoysia, creeping grass and shibaku, to strike.)
(Bruno appeared in the seventy first episode of the anime, while Ash was training for the Pokemon League. While we see nothing on his fighting prowess, Bruno was still impressively strong and hunted for a large Onix and agreed to train Ash and Brock (who idolized him) in exchange for chores. While he wasn't the amazing perfect person like Lorelei, he still knew his stuff and helped the large Onix by removing a jammed Sandslash from its body. Happy ever after.)
Alright time for the Fighting mas...ter. Hmm. I, uh, am I fighting the right person?
Well let's quickly change that.
Now it's mr skeltal's time to shine.
Shine on you crazy generation. Wait, is this the first time we're seeing this move? Eh, fuck it. Thunderpunch (Kaminari Punch) is, well, a bad Thunderbolt. So nah.
Oh hey it had this move the whole time, but it's just too little too late. Ice Punch (Reitō Punch: Freezing Punch) is, well, a bad Ice Beam. So nah. And fine. Fire Punch (Honō no Panchi: Flame Punch) is, well, a bad Flamethrower. So none of these moves are really worth it. Maybe one day...
Now it's time for the yang. Or the yin. I dunno what I mean. Anyway, still using X items this late on. Man.
I'll just keep chipping away, while you perform this necessary set up.
And again, too little, too late.
So let's see what one of these Onix can do. Cause it would just be so, so easy to sweep it away.
Hmm, well it's not doing bad really. Though I don't think the X Defend is really needed.
But eventually, chip chip chip.
He's bringing out the big guns, so now it's time to do the same.
Not every time it's a climactic fight to the finish.
"challenge!"
Aw yeah, that's two down. Halfway there!
"you, child!"
: That old duff was once tough and handsome! That was decades ago! Now he just wants to fiddle with his POKEDEX!
: He's wrong! POKEMON are for fighting! SATOSHI! I'll show you how a real trainer fights!
VS Elite Four Agatha
(Agatha can be a combination from aghast, ghost, gothic, or hag. And a reference to Agatha Christie??? Sure, whatever. Kikuko is from kiku, chrysanthemum)
(Agatha appeared in the four hundred and sixth episode of the anime, acting as temporary head of the Viridian Gym while they found someone who wouldn't blow it up. In order to impress Scott, who was looking for strong trainers, Ash challenged her to a battle and, despite having just finished the Ever Grande contest as a top 8 trainer, forgot that he couldn't hit her Gengar with Normal moves. Well, he lost, surprise, surprise, but that was still enough for Scott to suggest taking on the Battle Frontier challenge. But that's for... another day? The hell is this in my notes? ORAS LP? The fuck does that mean?)
#094: Gengar
Seems she's starting off with one of her best Pokemon. Thankfully she puts a load of dumb STAB moves on her ghosts, so they're pretty shit.
While this is annoying, so long as I keep up the offense, it'll just be whittled down.
Well, I mean, you could also do THAT. So let's just take down this Flying type that obviously won't have any Flying moves.
Oh god this Flying type has got Flying moves!
Stop that!
Okay, let's try this again.
Right. Okay. Sheesh, all that for one Pokemon.
This is what I should've done from the start.
Oh sometimes Ikue, you are delicious.
While I'm not a huge fan of how we have trainers being a master of a type containing one evolutionary line, having Pokemon not of a speciality type does add to the challenge and makes sense, it's silly to focus on just one type, why not mix it up?
But your strategy here won't work, I'm just too clever.
Just a bit too frail.
While I am using type advantage, mr skeltal still needs experience and won't be all too useful in the next fight.
After being alive for such a long time, she should've realized that Poison is a really, really shitty type.
Alright, last push, let's see what you have.
Okay, good start.
Okay, well eventually it might do something of note. Not just yet though.
So hey, let's go with something crazy, why not.
Three images as to why I should never, ever do something crazy ever.
Let's just finish this up already.
"special, child!"
You too. Your AI is definitely... interesting.
"sees in you now!"
: I have nothing else to say! Run along now, child!"
Alright, the final challenge.
This is gonna be one hell of a fight. Let's do this.
: I lead the ELITE FOUR! You can call me LANCE the dragon trainer! You know that dragons are mythical POKEMON! They're hard to catch and raise, but their powers are superior!
: They're virtually indestructible! Well, are you ready to lose? Your LEAGUE challenge ends with me, SATOSHI!
VS Elite Four Lance
(Lance is the name of a weapon used by knights, who fought dragons in fairy tales. Or it's just a cool name. Ever thought of that? Wataru is derived from wata, cotton. Wataru also means crossing. Uh, yeah.)
(Lance first appeared in the two hundred and thirty fifth episode of the anime, during the Red Gyarados incident. As a member of the Pokemon G-Men, he was able to easily take down Team Rocket's plan and catch the Red Gyarados before it rampaged towards Mahogany Town. Then he appeared to stop the conflict between Kyogre and Groudon. The-the first time, since Steven was there for the second time.)
Lance is a pretty tough fight if you don't have the right tools and Lance uses a few Dragon looking Pokemon to throw you off.
So far nothing too bad, Vegeta can hold its own.
Hey, what happened the last time I tried to do something crazy?
Oh. Oh yeah. Whoops.
Even I was sure that Ikue could've taken it down.
And now we face our first Dragon. These little buggers became very, very tricky in Yellow. In RBG he gave them "STAB" like an idiot, but here they can actually attack. But that's why we have Aquamemnon the dragon killer.
Okay, not really a problem, we can still take it down.
Stop being annoying!
And now begins the sweep.
Man, this is almost too easy.
Oh.
Ohhhhhh.
This is where I like having the panic button.
This battle is tough even with the constant type advantage I have, so I don't mind ignoring that rule for the moment.
GodDAMN this thing is fast.
Well it's no problem, this Flying type won't have any Flying type moves.
Oh god this Flying type has Flying type moves!
Okay, we're in a bit of a hairy situation, so physical tank, uh, tank physically.
Let's just keep everyone alive, need everyone at a good health.
Oh just faint me already!
I will end you when you stop flying around.
This set up is necessary.
Okay, good, it's down. Only one more Pokemon to go.
#149: Dragonite
Agility just makes sure I'm faster than Dragonite, so I can destroy it with a 4x effective Blizzard, but my whole plan falls apart if YOU MISS AHHHHHHHHH
My heart just cannot go on.
But hey, not a bad battle really.
Since I'm about to horribly, horribly lose.
This is where I need Ikue to neuter this thing before it wrecks my entire team. Wait...
It's a Flying type without any Flying moves! Wukong saves the day!
: I hate to admit it, but you are a POKEMON master!
: You are now the POKEMON LEAGUE champion! ...Or, you would have been, but you have one more challenge ahead. You have to face another trainer! His name is...
: SHIGERU! He beat the ELITE FOUR before you! He is the real POKEMON LEAGUE champion!
God
Fucking
DAMMIT